Still on the mend

Isaiah is still in the hospital and I'm still sleepless in overland Park. Even when I do get to bed and fall asleep, I can't stay sleep. We know he has Rhinovirus and Enterovirus - common colds - but for a preemie, they are just as bad as RSV as they can't fight it off. And for a baby with Isi's issues, it's even harder. Surgery postponed until about 4wks after his cultures come back negative. He seems to be through the worst of it, but yet, that nastiness is still hanging on. He continues to have good moments then with no warning, his O2 saturation goes down. then the suction hoses come out and it gets ugly. He hates it of course and fights with the nurses and respiratory therapists when they do it. Then they have to stop to let him recover. It's so awful to see. One of the cardiologists said they were so concerned that they were going to move him down to ICU...but he recovered and stayed up for a while. Field trip aborted.





He has been so wanting to be held by mommie. I can see it in his eyes. Whenever he has issues then recovers, he'll open his eyes and look around. When he sees me, he starts to cry. It's almost like he had a bad day then looks to me to pick him up so he will feel better. That's the look he gets in he eyes. I just know it. He's crying, "Mommie, please help me....make it better...make the pain go away...PLEASE!" It's so heart breaking to see. I want so badly to just pick him up and bring him home. If only I could. I just let him hold my fingers while I stroke his head so gently. I want him to know I am there for him and I won't leave him. Then when I do have to leave, it makes it that much harder. I pray: Oh God, please help my little one. Heal his hurts and strengthen his spirit.